Finding love by chance in NYC is almost impossible. It just isn’t the way the city works. Nobody is looking for “the one” when they’re going about their daily activities. New Yorkers are highly driven and are constantly busy. They tend to stay focused on the task at hand when they grocery shop or go to the gym. Sparking up a conversation with a stranger while picking up a loaf of bread isnt something that most New Yorker’s will do.
The Lower Manhattan Dating Vibe
For a good example of the type of dating that doesn’t end in long term relationships, look at Lower Manhattan where there are many singles. A high percentage of the residents here are single and looking to get into a relationship – but not a lasting one. There are plenty of packed bars every night of the week. People are hoping they will meet someone in a chance encounter. Not only will these singles frequent the bar scene, they’ll also be signed into Tinder and let’s get real, Tinder actually prevents you from finding a real connection. Anyone who wants love and a real bond is not looking for it on these kinds of dating apps. The majority of people on them are just messing around. Many people won’t even send you a message even if you match with them. New Yorkers that are truly looking for love will set their intentions and work with a professional who tailors to their needs.
Short Term Connections
Dating by chance might get you in a short-term relationship that runs its course in a few months. The options in the city are limitless and it creates a frenzy of ‘a kid in a candy store’ mentality. The more you date, the more you want to date. Dating can come with dopamine rushes like any other kind of addiction and some people get dependent on the ‘newness’ of relationships. These are the type of New Yorkers that don’t really want to settle down. They don’t want to experience the meaningful kind of love that you want. They get bored and crave the next new thing, the next high. Getting out of the pubs and meet up places and connecting takes knowing what you want and finding someone else who wants that too. The healthy practice of looking for love is not in the sea of unsure people addicted to a strange high of junk dating.
Focusing Energy in the Wrong Places
The kind of people that are truly looking for love aren’t to be found by chance. Like anyone living in New York City, the open-hearted are efficient. They join exclusive dating services that can pinpoint partners and create more lasting and loving relationships. The people that don’t know what they want are not going to put in the effort or the money to get these services. You know that when you’re set up with a match, you both want the same things and that’s a good start. It’s not by chance, it’s through intention.
Finding true love in NYC is challenging but it’s certainly not impossible. Don’t leave it to chance. You must know what you want out of a relationship, know yourself and be willing to walk away from the methods that aren’t working. Stop going to bars and using apps that just eat up your time and create greater cynicism. The love of your life may very well be just around the corner, but not a street corner. In a city with so many people, you need to go to where they’re at. They get help from professional dating services.