3 Reasons Elite Matchmaking Works In Dallas And New York


3 Reasons Elite Matchmaking Works In Dallas And New York

When a busy successful single wants to be dating in New York, Dallas, or any major city, it can be challenging to carve out time to find people to date. Though there is an abundance of people in these cities, that doesn’t mean finding love is any easier than in smaller cities and towns. In fact, the larger the city, the more time it can take to search for your perfect match.

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Is Online Dating in New York For You?

Many singles use online dating sites. Less than 5% of all couples met online (according to Pew Research). It can be done, but you have to devote time and know some do’s and don’ts  to be successful.

Why Elite Matchmakers Work Well In Dallas and New York

Consider this… When you have a fast paced lifestyle and work seems to take up a majority of time, would you like to have a completely confidential search team out doing the vetting for you. Just as in executive suite you have “people” searching out the best talent, the most savvy executives have a qualified matchmaker with databases and resources to find you a match that is attractive, meshes with your personality, and fits in your lifestyle. We ask the hard questions for you up front and place clients in contact with only the closest matches to their specific preferences.

What Successful Matchmakers in NYC and Dallas Do For Clients

1 – Save you vasts amounts of time. If you were to search online you’d spend 15 times more time online before you ever went out on a date.

2- The process your matchmaker goes through begins with getting to know you and your preferences, deal breakers, and personality. When a matchmaker knows the intricate details about you and what you are looking for then an all out highly personalized and confidential search can begin.

3 – Would you like to go on few hand selected high quality dates or spend time wining and dining the wrong match one after another? This concierge level of service offers you the greatest savings in time and the highest likelihood of finding your lasting connection.

An experienced matchmaker has the databases of singles in New York, Dallas or the region you’re in, networks with other quality matchmakers, and does personal outreach and custom strategies to find your perfect match. Then the fun begins where the matchmaker puts her skills to work in determining who has the right stuff for you to meet. Lasting Connections has a growing database of attractive intelligent singles and to ensure the highest quality matches we are very selective about the elite matchmaking New York clients we work with.

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Online Dating Profile Photos Do’s and Dont’s


Online Dating Profile Photos Do’s and Dont’s

With Valentine’s day approaching, and so many people on online dating sites, here are some tips on posting photos on dating sites! This is very important because most people don’t get it right!

Are you doing your online dating photo right?

This is your first impression online, so let’s make it work for you. Some of these may seem counter to what you want, but trust me, you’ll get more matches if you follow these simple online photo guidelines.

Do’s
  1. Use pictures of yourself that show your personality (travel photos, you having fun at your favorite restaurant, beach….. no bikini photos though)
  2. Minimum makeup and let your best features shine..Men…no baseball caps to hide your baldness…..let the baldness shine….
  3. Have a natural photo…..maybe a photo of you in workout gear if that’s your thing….if not you can have a photo of yourself at a social event.) If you are a socialite and that’s your thing, then you should resemble that in your profile.
  4. Have a mixture of photos, full body and close ups.
  5. Make sure they can see your face clearly and your body. Don’t look like you are hiding anything..
  6. Use clear, non blurry photos
Dont’s
  1. Do not post group photos (only yourself)
  2. Not too many photos with you cats and dogs! one photo ok but don’t look like a crazy cat lady or cat man!
  3. Don’t have glamours shots with lots of makeup
  4. Do not have photos in a bikini…..men…. no shirtless pics for you either. That’s right the photo above, while it’s studly, it gives the wrong impression to a woman.
  5. Do not include bathroom selfies

Take your online dating profile seriously, and so will you potential matches. Getting guidance on your profile writing and images can also position you in the best most authentic light.

Advice For The Single Gay Man


Advice For The Single Gay Man

single-gay-man-advice-1Even though as a whole society has become more accepting of homosexuality, it’s still surprisingly difficult for high quality, single men to find help and advice in their search for a life partner.  I’d get inquiries and questions all the time from gay friends and associates, wondering if I could match them or give them styling or dating advice.  And because I believe everyone deserves lasting love in their lives, I’ve made a point of reaching out to the gay community to offer my help and my services.

Especially since in this industry, overall you realize that whether gay or straight everyone is usually looking for the same things: love and acceptance for who they are.  And while perhaps a gay single might go about finding a partner differently than someone who is straight, the ultimate outcome is the same.

Given that, my first bit of advice is for everyone, no matter which side of the plate they swing from: Don’t Overcomplicate Things!  It’s true with relationships, and generally, I find also true with life.

So, for the sake of not overcomplicating things or reinventing the wheel…I’m here to tell you that finding a mate is far more simple than you probably think it is.  Take a recent statistic like this for example: did you know that a whopping 88% of all single gay men are actively searching for a romantic partner?

That means there are more of you who are commitment-minded than who aren’t.  And let me tell you, boys, that’s better odds than most single women have when looking for a boyfriend; so take advantage of that!

single-gay-man-advice-2How? You may be asking.  The solution to that is less complicated than you might think too, and mostly it has to do with not being afraid to break out of your social circle and meet new people, not with anything that’s specifically “wrong” or “lacking” about you.

Good news, right?

But there is a right and a wrong way to do this, so I definitely encourage you to read this entire article, and then if you have more questions get in touch with me so I can get you pointed in the right direction.  Because you only get one chance to make a good first impression and seeing as how over 65% of all gay men admit that they believe in love at first sight……I’d say you’d better make sure you get that first impression right!

Here are my top tips and suggestions for the gay single man:

Take Things Slow

Don’t rush into a relationship.  This can be a tough one because generally men like to move fast (gay or straight), and with two men instead of just one slowing things down can feel a bit like trying to stop an out of control train careening down the tracks……but trust me, it’s worth the effort.  Once sex and hormones are introduced to a relationship, the water is officially muddied and complicated.  I always say get to know your potential new partner as much as possible before ever hopping in bed.  Real, lasting relationships are based on shared interests and values…not just sex.

Get Off Grindr!

The cliché that all gay men want is a quick hookup isn’t true.  In fact, only 24% of all singles say they’re only looking for sex.  So if that’s what you’re running into, you might just be looking in the wrong places.

First thing’s first: delete your profile on Grindr.  Apps like this one are notorious for hookups, and just like I tell women to delete their Tinder profiles if they’re wanting a serious relationship, I’m telling you guys the same thing.  Online dating works great, but only on the sites where people are more serious about finding love and not just sex.

Be Open To Online Dating

single-gay-man-advice-3Luckily for you, gay men are far more open to online dating than their straight counterparts, which means online dating is a veritable gold mine of potential options for you.  Over 70% of singles looking for a relationship admit to having gone on dates with people they met online.  So why on earth would you ignore such a great tool?

Certainly, there are pros and cons to online dating, but with the right coaching and guidance, a person can have great success.  Just do a little research first to make sure the site you’re signing up with has what you’re looking for.  (We already talked about why that’s important!)

Utilize Your Network

You probably network without even thinking about it when it comes to your career, or even on behalf of your friends…so why not do it for your own love life too?  You’d be amazed just how many people you’re loosely connected to, and how massaging that network could lead to you meeting the love of your life!

People love the chance to play matchmaker (it’s fun!), so don’t hesitate to ask your friends and family if they know someone who would be a good fit for you.

Change Your Routine

Sometimes to meet people, the most important thing you can do is change your routine and break out of the proverbial comfort zone.  It’s pretty simple, but something a lot of people find challenging nonetheless.  We’re all creatures of habit, after all.

Review your weekly schedule and see if there are any areas you could change up a bit.  For example, try shopping for groceries at the other store down the road once in a while.  Or get your morning coffee at a different Starbucks (there’s only a million to choose from).  And please, please switch up where you go for Happy Hours; I know it’s tempting to get settled on your favorite barstool at your favorite haunt where your favorite bartender has your favorite drink ready when you walk in…but that’s not how you meet new people.  So mix it up!

single-gay-man-advice-4Pack The Moving Van

This one might seem extreme, but hey…sometimes life calls for extreme measures.  And if you’re serious about finding your life partner, it can make the difference between success and failure.  Obviously, if you can’t move for one reason or another, then this isn’t an option for you; but if moving isn’t too much of a hardship, then absolutely consider it.

Moving to a new place means you’ll be hitting all new gyms, grocery stores, and restaurants in your new neighborhood…and that’s a plethora of new people at your disposal, without even trying.  Plus, before you move, you can scope out the best neighborhoods first.

You think I’m joking?  Because I’m dead serious.  You have to go where the men are you see yourself dating; so take a little time and do some research first.  The good news is in more and more big cities throughout the country, gay populations are expanding; so you can move around and still have lots of great options to choose from!

Everything You Need To Know About Cuffing Season


Everything You Need To Know About Cuffing Season

Have you ever heard of the term “cuffing season”?

I know, I know…one more term to try and keep up with.  

But even if you haven’t heard the term before, I guarantee you’re aware of the concept, because people have been doing it forever.  It’s what happens during that special time of year when winter sets in, and people are looking for a special someone to cuddle up with next to the fire.

It’s actually a great time to meet people as a result because everyone is already “in the mood”.  So it can work in your favor if you’re single!

But like anything, you need to understand it first before you can make it work for you.

So head on over to my discussion with AskMen to learn all you need to know about cuffing season, and how you can potentially meet your next partner during this unique time of year.

Click here for the full article: AskMen – What Is Cuffing Season

Things That Sabotage Your Relationship


Things That Sabotage Your Relationship

lasting-connections-sameera-sullivan-meghann-andreassenYou know what they say about assuming things, right?

Well, not only does it make you look foolish more often than not…making assumptions and behaving in certain ways can also almost guarantee your relationship is headed for the trash bin.

I see this all the time with clients, particularly the ones I work with personally in coaching sessions.  Self-sabotage is one of the main reasons relationships don’t work out!

Making assumptions or sticking people in categories is never a good idea; all men aren’t cheaters, and all women aren’t high maintenance (as an example).  No, they can’t read your mind either; even if they’re really, really into you.  And I’ve seen cynicism kill a relationship faster than a switch turns off a light (we all know those people who don’t fully invest because they just ‘know’ it won’t work out in the end…it’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy).

But the good news is there’s hope!

If you can know the signs, that’s the first step in avoiding these dangerous pitfalls.

I discussed it in more detail with Bustle recently, so head on over to that full article to get the lowdown.  And then remember, if you’re ready to get out there and improve your chances, Lasting Connections is also here to help you with the right kind of date coaching.

Read the original article here: 6 Common Assumptions That Sabotage Relationships

Dating Over The Holidays


Dating Over The Holidays

img-joinLet’s face it: holidays can get tricky when it comes to relationships.  And there are different pitfalls every step of the way, whether you’re a newly minted couple, or have been together for a few years.

I get asked about things all the time.

For singles, everyone wants to know how they can meet that special someone in time to have a perfect date for New Year’s Eve.  And it can also be really, really difficult to get through the season if you’re sort of the Lone Ranger while all of your friends have a plus one to the holiday parties.  But you  need to let go of any feelings of hopelessness right now!  Because believe it or not, people are in relationship mode more than ever during this time of year; surrounded by families and friends and soaking up all that romantic ambiance under the mistletoe.

If you’re newly in a relationship, there can be a lot of pressure to figure out what is and isn’t appropriate in terms of time spent together, and the all-important gift exchange.  I’ve seen many new relationships crash and burn because one or both parties terrified the other by giving a gift that was way too over the top too soon…but I’ve also seen relationships struggle if no gift is given at all.  So it’s a fine balance.

And for those in established relationships, it’s difficult at times to know how to properly allocate your time.  Properly determine which events you attend together, which you attend separately, whose friends you see when, and whose families get your attention on which days.  Do you spend the holiday together?  Do you split up to your respective families?  

Lots of decisions to make!

Luckily, I discuss all of this with Men’s Fitness.  So head on over to that article for the best advice and tips for navigating the holiday season, no matter what your relationship status is.

Click here for more: Your Guide To Dating Over The Holidays

The Cheat Sheet: Life After The Honeymoon Phase


The Cheat Sheet: Life After The Honeymoon Phase

couple-piggyback-outdoorWe’ve all heard about the proverbial “honeymoon phase” of a relationship.  It’s the time when, as the song goes, everything is awesome!

But what happens when that phase ends?  What comes after?  And how do you know if you officially have moved on to phase two?

Our Founder and CEO, Sameera Sullivan, had a chat with The Cheat Sheet about this very thing.  Talking about everything from the five signs that tell you the honeymoon has ended, to  how you and your partner can still maintain your sense of romance and stay connected.

Read more about this here: 5 Signs The Honeymoon Phase Is Over

 

Bravo TV Feature: Why Women Should Want To Date Models


Bravo TV Feature: Why Women Should Want To Date Models

Let’s face it: there are a lot of cliches and stereotypes about models.  What they do and don’t like to eat, how they act, whether or not the beauty of their minds matches the beauty of their faces and bodies…

…and a fairly common trend for most women is the assumption that in the end, gorgeous faces and six-pack abs aside, models are pretty to look at and that’s it.  Not to be considered as proper boyfriend material.

But what if that’s incorrect?

Our Founder and CEO, Sameera Sullivan, had a discussion with Bravo TV about this very subject.  About why perhaps you should give that gorgeous male specimen a real chance.

See what she had to say here: Bravo TV segment 

First Date Questions And Answers


First Date Questions And Answers

first date questionsLet’s talk a little more in depth about that all-important first date.

My clients often ask me for help and guidance on everything from what to wear to who should pay.  And because it’s something that can cause even the most seasoned of singles to get anxious or nervous about, I’ve decided it’s best to compile the most frequently asked questions, along with my answers.

After all, first impressions are everything.  And if you happen to meet “the one”, you want to make sure they call you back for a second night out.  Good luck!

Question: During Introductions…Handshake, Hug, or Nothing?

Do whatever you are most comfortable with.  If you’re a hugger, then offer a hug.  If you’re a hand shaker, extend the hand.  It’s okay to not be quite sure what to do, just don’t pretend to be something you’re not.  Always remember that on the first date, you’re showing and telling the other person who you are (and hopefully they’re returning the favor).  You don’t have to be perfect…just sincere and genuine.  And if in the end it turns out you love to give hugs and they don’t even want to clink glasses over dinner, then maybe that’s a sign this isn’t the right person for you.

Question: Which topics should be considered taboo or off limits?

A first date is a time to establish a genuine, positive connection.  Steer clear of the heavier subjects, and if they come up, only skim the surface before moving on.  Don’t get too heavy into politics, religion, or other polarizing subjects; verbal sparring can be fun, but I recommend saving the debates for after you’ve established a positive connection.  Until you know a person more intimately, it can be confusing and even a little intimidating to have heated discussions, as you don’t yet know the other person well enough to recognize the difference between when they’re arguing, debating, or just plain angry.

And never, ever go in depth about past relationships on a first date.  Doing this can leave many impressions…and none of them are positive.  It can lead your date to believe you’re still emotionally tied to your ex.  It can stir up jealousy or insecurity.  And most important of all…a first date is a chance for a fresh start; but by discussing an ex, you risk ruining a blank slate with all the red marks from your old ledger.

Question: What is a good venue for a first date?

While people often try to come up with things that are considered ‘fun’ or ‘different’ for a first date, we actually recommend an old fashioned approach.  The idea of zip lining over the Grand Canyon sounds fun, but it doesn’t really give you the chance to get to know your date.

Nothing beats a nice wine bar, or a lunch or dinner date. Pick a place with  pleasant ambiance.  Not too crowded, and not too loud.  You want an atmosphere that encourages intimate conversation, where you have the chance to relax and be yourself.  A first date should never involve inviting your date to your home for dinner, or anywhere else for that matter that has the two of you completely alone for extended periods of time; this opens the door wide for misunderstandings, missed signals, and misfires. Inviting a date for dinner on a 2nd date in your home can also be a disaster. Stay away from that idea until after the 5th date!

Remember…the first date is the chance to see if there is a connection.  The fewer distractions, the better.

first-date-3Question: What Should I Wear?

The wardrobe question is probably the most common question I’m asked when it comes to first dates.  Every person is different, but there are a few basic rules that apply no matter who you are or where you’re going:

  1.    Less is more, ladies; this is not the time to flash a ton of skin.  Too much cleavage or too much leg can really give a man the wrong idea about what you’re looking for.
  2.    And gentlemen, be polished and professional.  Nothing with stains, wrinkles, or holes; don’t care if it’s your ‘lucky red shirt’.  It doesn’t belong on a first date.
  3.    Nothing with offensive or controversial logos or slogans.  You don’t know this person yet; a first date is the time to make a good first impression, and you never know what might trigger a negative reaction.  It’s always better to play it safe.

Question: What’s some good first date etiquette?

  1.    Be on time.  Might seem obvious, but you’d be amazed how many people arrive late for a first date.
  2. what to do on a first date   Put the phone away; you want your date to feel like you’re interested.  Constantly texting others gives the impression that you’d rather be elsewhere.
  3.    No shoveling or slurping your food, if you please. Remember that scene from ‘Beauty and the Beast’ where Belle is first teaching the Beast how to eat…?  Yeah, this isn’t a good time for a moment like that.  I promise your date is not going to find it attractive if you’re wearing half your dinner and slurping the rest.
  4.    Go easy on the alcohol.  You may think you’re cute or hilarious when drunk…but I guarantee mostly you’ll just appear sloppy and immature if you don’t know how to manage your drinking properly.  This isn’t college any more, and dates are no longer impressed by how many shots you can handle.
  5.    At the end of the night, the man should pay on the first date.  It’s just good manners.  Plus, it eliminates the inevitably awkward silence when the check arrives.

Question: To kiss…or not to kiss?

Like a lot of PDA-related questions, the answer always depends on the personal preferences of the individual.  If it’s not something you’re comfortable with, then don’t do it.  If your date goes in for a kiss, and you’re not feeling it…speak up.  Set a healthy boundary.  A first kiss should be a wonderful thing; not something you’re questioning five seconds after your date drives away.

Also, some people have a hard time separating physical intimacy from emotional attachment; if you fall into that category, I usually recommend holding off on kissing until you’ve had a chance to get to know your date a little better as a person.  Like any kind of physical intimacy, kissing can lead to confusion.  It can be hard to know if the butterflies you’re feeling after a date are because you felt connected to the person, or simply because they were a good kisser (and there is a difference…physical chemistry will only get you so far).

Trust me…if it’s the right person, the kiss will happen when it’s meant to happen.  There’s no need to rush or force the issue.

Embracing The Single Life


Embracing The Single Life

single life and finding a mateThere are two kinds of people who come to me looking for help finding a mate.  There’s the person who is happy and fulfilled, and therefore they are patient as it sometimes takes me and my team awhile to find their ideal partners.  And then there is the person who is so eager to find the love of their life that it borders on desperation, and because of this they’re forgetting to savor the moment and enjoy their own life journey in the meantime.

We all want to meet our special forever someone.  And that’s a wonderful goal to have…but we don’t all meet our life partners when we’re young.  So even if you’re single and still looking for a life partner, it is vital that you get out and enjoy your life as a healthy, well-adjusted man or woman.  You need to be a whole person on your own, so that you have something to offer when Mr. or Ms. Right walks into your life.

To that end, I’ve put together some of my best tips for – yes, I’m saying it – enjoying the single life.  Because I’m not just here to help clients fall in love with someone else…it’s my hope that going through this process with me, ultimately clients fall in love with themselves too.

Tip #1: Embrace Eating Alone…And Liking It

There are a lot of men and women who don’t try new restaurants, bars, or other social settings…because they feel like they have to have someone with them first.

Banish this attitude from your thoughts.  If there is a restaurant you want to try…try it!  And if you’re a little anxious at first, that’s okay…take a book or iPad or laptop and also get some work done.  Get used to sitting at the table alone.  Get used to your own company in a crowd.  Like anything in life, it just takes a little practice…but we guarantee once you get used to it, you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated in the first place.  It will boost your confidence, and better yet, you’ll have more ideas on where you’d like to go for a first date when you DO meet that special someone.

enjoy the single life while finding a mateTip #2: Embrace Your Friends

Many forget to engage with their friends while searching for a life partner.  And believe it or not, this can be a turn-off to potential love interests.  You want to show that you have confidence and a good sense of self…which is accomplished by having a healthy social life.

Fill up your calendar with “friend dates”.  And if your friend list is shorter than you’d like, join local interest groups or clubs to meet other like-minded individuals.

Be proactive about it; don’t just wait for others to call you.  If you’re looking at the week ahead and finding your calendar empty…scroll through the contacts in your cell phone. Give people a call.  Set play dates. Don’t wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to breathe energy into your social life…do that for yourself!

finding a mateTip #3: Take A Vacation

One of the questions I like to ask new clients is for a list of places they’ve always wanted to travel…and it’s amazing how long the list is for so many people, because they’ve been waiting for that special someone before planning those dream vacations.

Don’t wait.  That’s all I can say.  You want things to talk about when you DO go on a first date.  So take that cross-country road trip.  Plan that European adventure.  Take a friend with you…or go solo.  Just don’t wait, because the longer you wait, the more you’re in essence putting your life on hold for that elusive person you’re searching for.  They’ll come into your life when the time is right, but in the meantime you have to keep living for yourself.  Making memories and having adventures.

Tip #4: Create Your Dream Home

Whether you live in an apartment, a condo, a duplex, or a house…you don’t have to wait for a life partner to make it a home.  Quite often singles will make the excuse that they’re waiting to really settle into a place until they meet the person they want to build a home with.  But I say: Don’t. Wait.

Whatever home fits your budget and your lifestyle…make it your own.  Decorate with your favorite colors.  Remodel.  Invest in furniture.  Get the pet you want, instead of waiting to find out first if your future spouse prefers cats, dogs, or hamsters.

This serves two purposes: first, when that right person DOES come into your life, you’ll have a home to take them to.  A true home, that embodies your personality.  And second, it will give YOU a beautiful home to inhabit while waiting for that right person to come into your life.  Having a happy home can be a huge boost for morale.

Tip #5: Pursue A Fulfilling Career

In a tough job market sometimes we have to take what we can get to pay the bills, but that doesn’t mean you should ever stop working towards your dream career.  YOUR career.  Not the career you think your future spouse might want you to have, and not the career you think will be easiest to leave behind the minute you get married.  I’m talking about the career YOU want.  Today.

Women in particular can fall into the habit of waiting for Prince Charming to rescue them from the evil world of nine to five, and therefore don’t pursue what they really love.  And men on the other hand can find themselves in the corporate rat race, trying to make enough money to provide themselves and their future families with first class lifestyles…but at the expense of their own happiness.  Finding a mate can be a laborious process!

In the end, for both men and women, just keep this in mind: you don’t know how long it will take to meet your ideal life partner.  Some meet theirs young, others don’t.  But you have to feel fulfilled and happy in your own life no matter what.  If you have a career you enjoy, you’ll be well on your way to achieving that personal happiness.  Remember, you’ll spend a large portion of your life at work if you’re putting in 40+ hours each week; that’s far too much of your life to be wasted on a career that makes you unhappy.

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