Advice For The Single Gay Man

Even though as a whole society has become more accepting of homosexuality, it’s still surprisingly difficult for high quality, single men to find help and advice in their search for a life partner.  I’d get inquiries and questions all the time from gay friends and associates, wondering if I could match them or give them styling or dating advice.  And because I believe everyone deserves lasting love in their lives, I’ve made a point of reaching out to the gay community to offer my help and my services.

Especially since in this industry, overall you realize that whether gay or straight everyone is usually looking for the same things: love and acceptance for who they are.  And while perhaps a gay single might go about finding a partner differently than someone who is straight, the ultimate outcome is the same.

Given that, my first bit of advice is for everyone, no matter which side of the plate they swing from: Don’t Overcomplicate Things!  It’s true with relationships, and generally, I find also true with life.

So, for the sake of not overcomplicating things or reinventing the wheel…I’m here to tell you that finding a mate is far more simple than you probably think it is.  Take a recent statistic like this for example: did you know that a whopping 88% of all single gay men are actively searching for a romantic partner?

That means there are more of you who are commitment-minded than who aren’t.  And let me tell you, boys, that’s better odds than most single women have when looking for a boyfriend; so take advantage of that!

How? You may be asking.  The solution to that is less complicated than you might think too, and mostly it has to do with not being afraid to break out of your social circle and meet new people, not with anything that’s specifically “wrong” or “lacking” about you.

Good news, right?

But there is a right and a wrong way to do this, so I definitely encourage you to read this entire article, and then if you have more questions get in touch with me so I can get you pointed in the right direction.  Because you only get one chance to make a good first impression and seeing as how over 65% of all gay men admit that they believe in love at first sight……I’d say you’d better make sure you get that first impression right!

Here are my top tips and suggestions for the gay single man:

Take Things Slow

Don’t rush into a relationship.  This can be a tough one because generally men like to move fast (gay or straight), and with two men instead of just one slowing things down can feel a bit like trying to stop an out of control train careening down the tracks……but trust me, it’s worth the effort.  Once sex and hormones are introduced to a relationship, the water is officially muddied and complicated.  I always say get to know your potential new partner as much as possible before ever hopping in bed.  Real, lasting relationships are based on shared interests and values…not just sex.

Get Off Grindr!

The cliché that all gay men want is a quick hookup isn’t true.  In fact, only 24% of all singles say they’re only looking for sex.  So if that’s what you’re running into, you might just be looking in the wrong places.

First thing’s first: delete your profile on Grindr.  Apps like this one are notorious for hookups, and just like I tell women to delete their Tinder profiles if they’re wanting a serious relationship, I’m telling you guys the same thing.  Online dating works great, but only on the sites where people are more serious about finding love and not just sex.

Be Open To Online Dating

Luckily for you, gay men are far more open to online dating than their straight counterparts, which means online dating is a veritable gold mine of potential options for you.  Over 70% of singles looking for a relationship admit to having gone on dates with people they met online.  So why on earth would you ignore such a great tool?

Certainly, there are pros and cons to online dating, but with the right coaching and guidance, a person can have great success.  Just do a little research first to make sure the site you’re signing up with has what you’re looking for.  (We already talked about why that’s important!)

Utilize Your Network

You probably network without even thinking about it when it comes to your career, or even on behalf of your friends…so why not do it for your own love life too?  You’d be amazed just how many people you’re loosely connected to, and how massaging that network could lead to you meeting the love of your life!

People love the chance to play matchmaker (it’s fun!), so don’t hesitate to ask your friends and family if they know someone who would be a good fit for you.

Change Your Routine

Sometimes to meet people, the most important thing you can do is change your routine and break out of the proverbial comfort zone.  It’s pretty simple, but something a lot of people find challenging nonetheless.  We’re all creatures of habit, after all.

Review your weekly schedule and see if there are any areas you could change up a bit.  For example, try shopping for groceries at the other store down the road once in a while.  Or get your morning coffee at a different Starbucks (there’s only a million to choose from).  And please, please switch up where you go for Happy Hours; I know it’s tempting to get settled on your favorite barstool at your favorite haunt where your favorite bartender has your favorite drink ready when you walk in…but that’s not how you meet new people.  So mix it up!

Pack The Moving Van

This one might seem extreme, but hey…sometimes life calls for extreme measures.  And if you’re serious about finding your life partner, it can make the difference between success and failure.  Obviously, if you can’t move for one reason or another, then this isn’t an option for you; but if moving isn’t too much of a hardship, then absolutely consider it.

Moving to a new place means you’ll be hitting all new gyms, grocery stores, and restaurants in your new neighborhood…and that’s a plethora of new people at your disposal, without even trying.  Plus, before you move, you can scope out the best neighborhoods first.

You think I’m joking?  Because I’m dead serious.  You have to go where the men are you see yourself dating; so take a little time and do some research first.  The good news is in more and more big cities throughout the country, gay populations are expanding; so you can move around and still have lots of great options to choose from!